La semana pasada estaba extraño. It was a strange week last week. Last Monday did not go as I planned. After a fun-filled full weekend (Pride marche en D.F., bulgolgi dinner, the best faculty brunch ever, dinner at Cafe Tacuba with students followed by Ballet Folklorico at El Palacio de Belles Artes), I was prepared to have a full work day and an early evening at home Monday. But because D.F. is so exciting and random, I found myself at Groove for the English-Spanish language exchange, made an unsuccessful attempt at the pulqueria, found a taxi buddy (Chacon) but no taxis, then relinquished to a taste of mezcal while waiting for a taxi which finally brought me home. It had been a good day.
Except when I realized I lost my iPhone… for the second time that night. Jason played a joke on me earlier in the evening when he saw that I had left my phone on top of the table at Groove. I had hoped a similar thing happened when I realized I did not have my phone when I got home. No such luck. After going through withdrawals, frantically trying to reach Jason, searching through my backpack for the 1293 time, I finally resigned myself to unrestful sleep. That morning, I blinked my eyes open and felt a surge of panic as I hopped out of bed and bee-lined to my laptop to check my email and Skype messages for confirmation that someone somewhere had my iPhone. No such luck.
Jason made every effort, called the taxi company, spoke to the driver, searched for it, but it was gone. I spent the next day feeling sad. It felt like a breakup. I know how ridiculous that sounds and I am embarrassed to write it but I was alone. I felt helpless. To go anywhere, I needed to look at a map and write down directions. Go figure. To make plans with people I had to arrange to meet them ahead of time. When plans changed, I was the last to know. I couldn’t take pictures anymore, I couldn’t check social media, talk to people with whom I have regular daily contact, or share things with others. Then I realized, perhaps this was a gift. It is late enough in the program that I truly don’t need a phone here in D.F., but there was enough time left that it mattered. It distracts me from loneliness (see video)
After much research and deliberation, I decided to try it without a phone until I am home. So what does this have to do with superstition? A few posts ago I wrote about the tourmaline stone I bought in Malinalco. The tourmaline is supposed to protect from negative energy, help me do CBT on myself when needed, and shield against environmental pollutants and radiation associated with cell phones and computers. As my partner said to me, if I was supposed to have my phone I would have it. If I am supposed to find it, I will find it. So spiritually speaking, perhaps this is exactly what I asked for. After all, relationships with smartphones is often on my mind so now I have the opportunity to experiment and unplug.
Now that it’s been a week and I have not had a phone I still feel disconnected and uninformed. But I am not frantic or urgently trying to replace it. At times I feel lighter. Most of the time I feel lighter. Jason helped me get a cheap (dumb)phone to have while I am here just for text messaging and emergencies. I don’t know how to use it. I don’t use it in fact. And I find myself feeling inferior somehow. Perhaps it’s a stretch but there is a culture to smartphones. Those with smartphones have a certain privilege and connection. I especially noticed this while in the company of a group where exactly half of us had a smartphone and the other half did not. The smartphone users were swiping every few minutes, the non phone users were talking or just sitting. It made such an impression on me. And I write this fully aware of how consumed I am when I have my iPhone.
The truth is I want to replace my iPhone as soon as possible. But for now, I am trying to learn the lessons I asked for. Thank you Malinalco, las piedras, la turmalina, o mateo…
P.S. Un dia en la semana pasada, era un play durante el tiempo de las clases de espanol. Pero no sabia porque no tengo mi telefono y era una cambio repentino. Entonces, no hay nadie en la clase y mi maestro me preguntaba que yo quiero. No entiendo que paso con el cambio entonces me dije que yo quiero ir en la clase. En la clase de espanol, yo lo cuente esta storia a mi maestro y mi dijo que parar con la storia y mi dijo que toma una carta de tarot. Entonces la teni una por divertido. Y el mi dijo que me voy a caer las cosas malas entonces puedo a ascender por mi suenos. Pero me voy a dolor mucho. Claro no quiero escuchar eso entonces ahora tengo mucho pensamientos por eso. Pero la cosa que mi dijo, ya lo escuche en Malinalco…